The Negatives:
Heaven help me. The negatives. I don't want to rant and rave for pages, so I'll try to pick out what I hated most. This might become spoilery - you've been warned.

1. More important than anything else. The reason I will never forgive this movie or allow it to move forward. The reason I hate it with everything in my being...*spoiler?* they kill a puppy.
   
   For no reason. It serves no purpose. It's meant to be an inciting incident to make Alita who she is, but they could have done that with ANYTHING, and they chose something innocent and sweet.  It disgusts me. It makes me want to have words with the writer and director. I honestly don't respect them. This isn't John Wick. You aren't serving a purpose. That's gratuitous death, and you're wicked.
   
   
2. It's boring. Yawn-worthy. I cringed.
   
   
3. I hated Hugo. More than anything else, I hated Hugo. He's meant to be a love interest, but I've never seen such a cliche, trope-filled, teen angst love interest in a movie that was meant to be an epic sci-fi adventure. If I had to guess, this boy found a book called Twilight, read it, didn't understand it, and proceeded to behave how HE thought a romeo should behave.
   
   He sucked (not the actor, the character). He was misogynistic. He was a villain. He did horrible, awful things with no guilty conscience until his libido was awakened by someone similar to those he'd assaulted. He was wicked. It's been a long time since I have hated someone in a movie that I was supposed to love this much (happens in books all the time). 
   
   He's a wannabe Aladdin, but it doesn't pan out. Alita tells him her favorite food is oranges, so he laughs at her and buys her chocolate. BECAUSE THAT'S ALL WOMEN KNOW HOW TO ENJOY FOOD, IS BY EATING CHOCOLATE. Why can't her favorite food be an orange? Why can't the citrus-zest be left well enough alone? No, we have to hit every trope in the history of cliche and give the girl chocolate - because he's such a hero. 
   
   He's selfish. Everything is about Hugo. Even when he appears to be caring about Alita, he's not. Down to the final minutes on screen, he's doing things for his own good, for his own care. Alita tries again and again to save him, to help him, to love him, but in the end, Hugo is for Hugo.
   
   SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER I've never cheered so hard when a character died. I was so happy, watching him plummet to the lower city. He deserved to die more than any other character in that movie, and I would almost consider seeing the next one just to watch something he isn't in. In fact, I cheered his death the way I cheered some of the most hated villains on Game of Thrones.
   
   
4. The way they treated Alita was an insult to women everywhere. No only is there the chocolate fiasco, but the way they interacted with her. This is a futuristic world, but maybe we've gone backwards in time when it comes to how we interact with females?
   
   
5. The villains. OH THE VILLAINS! It was sad. So sad. They were awkward, clunky, stupid, boring. They were entirely made of machinery, except their faces? I have no idea why they kept the faces. It made them silly. It didn't humanize them, but just made them laughable. Especially when one was so vain all he cared about was his face. Why? What purpose did his face serve? The main villain had a super creepy line "I'd rather rule in Hell than serve in Heaven." 
   
   But he didn't live up to his hype. And the villain above him, saved for future films. We see him for one split second in the end - much like Thanos in the earliest Marvel movies - but he packs little punch, regardless of his star power.
   
   
6. Most of the acting.
   Aside from Rosa Salazar, pretty much everyone on the screen is a bumbling buffoon when it comes to their parts. They aren't believable, likely because of the script they had and the direction they were given. They don't believe it anymore than I do. They have to feel the oozing misogyny bleeding off the page. Whatever it is, it's not good.
   
   
7. It ends on a cliff hanger, which I expected when it dragged on and on to what felt like a climax.
   
   No joke. This movie is essentially two hours of backstory, finally reaching a moment you might care to watch, and then stopping in a dead halt. 

The Rating:
No rating. I can't give it a feather. It isn't worth one.

Final Verdict:
It's your choice, but I will never tell anyone I know to see Alita: Battle Angel.
The only way I'd see a sequel is if they learn how to handle Alita herself, stop insulting my intelligence, and give Hugo the pink slip.

Because I love my readers, I can't tell you what that moral is. I almost thought they were going to miss it - a real #swanitude moment - but then they swung back around and hit a home run.

Rebel Wilson is a positive female lead, and a rarity amongst Hollywood. In her late 30s, more voluptuous, and with a history of being the sidekick, Rebel isn't what Hollywood generally puts in the Leading Lady category. Yet Rebel owns the role and your affection as the lovable Natalie, an architect with low self-esteem and a sarcastic sense of humor.

We're treated, once again, to Hemsworth humor - this time in the form of younger brother Liam. While not as funny as big brother Chris, he still shines as the American-turned-Australian Blake, a millionaire's son who falls for Natalie in the Romantic Comedy world Natalie wakes up in.

I can't say enough about the musical scene with Rebel and Adam Devine. Whitney Huston would be honored (I think) to see them bopping to one of her best beats.

Plus, the ending has a fun surprise.

The Negative - 
You can't expect Isn't it Romantic to be A Star is Born. It's a chick-flick. Something fun, light, and mindless to soothe you after a hard day. Compare it to its fellows, and you'll have a grand time.

There are a few moments where Isn't it Romantic misses the mark, but it makes up for it with fun, heart, and happiness intentionally soaked in tropes and cliches.

The Rating:
3 feathers

Final Verdict:
Catch Isn't it Romantic for a girls night or with your guys. You'll have a great time.

The whole point of acting is to make your audience believe you - your words, your emotions, your plight.  I believed everything that came out of Alex's mouth as he accepted the mantle he'd been given. Just as compelling was Merlin - a teenager on the outside with an old man on the inside. Imrie played Merlin to a T, convincing as both old man and boy, and quirky as all get out.

Though these two shone brightest, their accompanying troupe of young actors left nothing wanting (if Lancelot and Kay were a bit on the wooden side once or twice, it was forgiven).

The directing - I loved the scenery, the cinematography, and the CGI. Nothing felt fake, and the stakes remained high throughout the film.  Joe Cornish presented a world I wanted to be part of.

The story - King Arthur isn't just any old legend you can toss up on the screen. It's a British child's rite of passage. Everyone knows the story of King Arthurt - even in the States.  Taking on a new and fresh telling had to be compelling, intriguing, action-filled, fast-paced, exciting, and daring.

The Kid Who Would Be King hit all the marks. 

I loved being taken for a ride as Alex takes his noble character and broadens it, emboldening himself and his friends while making his enemies join his cause. I loved Alex. I rooted for him Bedivere as they strove to accomplish their task. It's a movie I will repeat watch with not a hint of guilt.

The Negatives:
It was over too quickly. There were some scenes that were surprisingly violent. In the UK I'm sure no one bats an eye, but in the USA, everyone spends so much time shielding their children from EVERYTHING that I think it might go too far for some parents.

The Rating:
4 solid feathers. Maybe even 4.5

Final Verdict:
Why are you still reading this? Go get your King on!